If you’re reading this, it means you’re thinking about cheating on your husband. And that’s a tough decision to make. There are a lot of factors to consider, and it’s not something to take lightly.
First of all: what about the morality of the situation? Is it “wrong” to cheat on your husband? Is adultery always “immoral,” is it “wrong”?
These are tough questions, and there’s no easy answer. It depends on your personal beliefs and values. Some people believe that cheating is always wrong, period. Others believe that it’s only wrong if it hurts someone else. And still others believe that it’s not necessarily “wrong” to cheat, but it might not be the best thing to do.
So, what should you do? Well, what are the reasons that have driven you to consider taking this drastic step? Is your husband cheating on you? Is he neglecting you? Is he abusive? Or is he just a boring old fart who doesn’t satisfy you in bed?
If your husband is cheating on you, then you have our full permission to cheat on him right back. In fact, we would encourage it. This is one situation where two wrongs can actually make things right. Cheating on a cheating spouse evens the playing field.
If your husband is neglecting you, that’s also a good reason to seek satisfaction elsewhere. If he’s too busy to pay attention to you, then he doesn’t deserve to have you all to himself. Go out and find someone who will appreciate your company.
Abusive husbands are a different story. If your husband is physically or emotionally abusive, then you need to get out of the relationship immediately. Cheating on an abusive husband will only make things worse.
And finally, if your husband is just a boring old fart who doesn’t satisfy you in bed, then we say go for it! Life is too short to be stuck in a sexless marriage. Find someone who can give you what you need and deserve.
What if, like many women, you wonder, after a few years of marriage, what it would be like to have an affair with another woman? In that case, we would also say: go for it!
But if none of those things are true, then you need to ask yourself: is your relationship really in that bad of a place? Are you just feeling restless and wanting something new? Or are you genuinely unhappy and thinking that cheating will make you happier?
If it’s the latter, then, sorry to say, cheating is probably not the answer. It might make you feel better in the short term, but in the long run it will only make you feel worse.
Maybe your husband is a swell fellow, but you need to experiment. Maybe you want to have a threesome. Maybe you want to try BDSM. Whatever it is, there are ways to experiment within the confines of your relationship. Talk to your husband about your desires and see if there’s a way to make them happen without cheating.
But let’s say you’ve decided that you’re going to cheat. You’re going to do it no matter what. We’re not here to judge you, so we won’t try to talk you out of it. If you’re going to do it anyway, then at least do it right.
Let’s get one thing out of the way first. Maybe you’ve been out of the dating world for a while — maybe for decades. You wonder whether anyone will even WANT to sleep with you. Well, let us tell you: they will. You’re a married woman, and that’s a major turn-on for a lot of men (and women). So don’t sell yourself short.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about how to actually cheat without getting caught. This is where things get a little tricky. You have to be careful. Very careful. You need to have an alibi for every time you’re with your lover. And most importantly, you must never, ever let your husband find out.
Should you tell him first? No way! You’re only setting yourself up for heartache if you do. He’s not going to understand, and he’ll only end up hurting you more in the long run.
First of all, timing is everything. If your husband is out of town on business or away for the weekend, that’s usually the best time to cheat. That way, there’s less chance of him finding out.
Secondly, choose your lover carefully. If you’re going to be cheating on your husband, you don’t want to do it with just anyone. You want to choose someone who you’re actually attracted to and who you know you can trust. Ideally, this should be someone who is also in a committed relationship; someone who knows what it’s like to keep secrets and who won’t blab about your affair to everyone they know
If you can, have an affair with someone who lives far away. If you can, choose someone who lives in another city, or even another state. If you’re going to cheat with someone who is also married, make sure their spouse is out of town or otherwise occupied. That way, there’s no risk of running into them and getting caught in the act. If you decide to meet someone in person, make sure it’s in a public place and that you take your own car. That way, if things go south, you can always make a quick getaway.
What if you don’t have any candidates in mind? In that case, you can always try online dating. Just be careful not to use your real name or any other personal information that could lead back to you.
Third, don’t be sloppy about it. Don’t leave evidence lying around. No love notes, no receipts from hotel rooms, nothing. And definitely don’t use your own credit card to pay for anything related to the affair!
Fourth, don’t get too comfortable. Just because you’ve been getting away with it for a while doesn’t mean you’re in the clear. The longer an affair goes on, the greater the chance of getting caught. So be prepared to end it at a moment’s notice, if necessary.
Fifth, remember that this relationship is built on lies and deception. It’s not going to be healthy for either of you in the long run. Sooner or later, someone is going to get hurt.
Sixth, don’t fall in love with your extramarital lover! This is a recipe for disaster. If you start to care for them too much, you’re going to slip up and make a mistake that will get you caught. This is just an infatuation, and it will fade. So don’t do anything that you might regret later.
Seventh, make sure that the lovemaking is absolutely mind blowing! This is the whole point of having an affair, right? You want to feel alive and excited again. Make it something to remember.
Eighth, don’t pick up any venereal diseases! Use protection. Every time. No exceptions.
Ninth, be prepared for the worst. Your husband might find out, and he might leave you. He might take you to court, and you could lose everything — your house, your car, half of your income. Your kids! Is it worth it? Only you can answer that question.
Finally: don’t confess, even if you feel guilty about it, even if you’re tempted to. If you don’t get caught, there’s no need to tell your husband what you did. It will only make things worse. If you get caught, deny, deny, deny. It’s your word against theirs, and unless they have concrete evidence, there’s no way they can prove that you did anything wrong. If he does find out for sure, though, then all bets are off. You will have to come up with a very good reason for why you did it, and even then there’s no guarantee that he’ll forgive you.
So there you have it: ten pieces of advice for when (and how) to cheat on your husband without getting caught. These are just a few things to keep in mind if you’re thinking of cheating on your husband. Just remember to be careful, and always use protection!
Good luck, and happy hunting!
Content and Image by Audere Magazine. Model: Amelissa Oblige.